Usually celebrity endorsements are a matter of whack-a-mole for political journalists. Every election cycle they pop up and the Fourth Estate gets to bash candidates for aligning themselves to superficial dilettantes who think that anyone who can’t afford to shop at Fred Segal is worthy of government handouts. So when OprahObamaPalooza broke, like any responsible journalist in the End Times, I went back to nursing a martini and watching Keeping Up With The Kardashians.
It’s obvious why candidates like celebrity endorsements. Celebrity appearances generate bigger turnouts at campaign events — as was the case in South Carolina when 50,000 people turned out for a recent Oprah-Obama love festival. However, when celebrity endorsements are overhyped, it usually results in some sort of backlash.
But much to my chagrin and the republic’s detriment, political commentators are raving about Oprah Winfrey’s recent appearances on the campaign trail in support of Barack Obama.
According to MSNBC, Oprah’s campaign appearances have been “
folksy and funny.” Pollster John Zogby, no doubt using one of his patented statistical methodologies, explained that Oprah’s endorsement means more than conventional celebrity endorsements “
because she bonds with the heart.” The always objective Associated Press ran with the headline “
Oprah Dazzles Crowds for Obama.” Even
conservative commentators seem to think her support will help.
Now I’m not blind to reality here. Oprah’s endorsement is significant. She’s the embodiment of a success previously unheard for a woman, let alone a black woman a few decades ago. Standing next to the Illinois senator, it reinforces the message that if she can achieve such great heights, America is ready for a black president.
For the record, I think this country is ready for a black president, though that’s a separate question than whether America should vote for Barack Obama. In fact, at the moment chief among my questions about his fitness for office is why he would want to stand on a stage next to Oprah Winfrey.
Sure, capitalizing on her popularity seems like an obvious move for Obama. But while Oprah’s legions may be loyal, but the fact they swallow what she’s selling says a lot about their collective intelligence.
Remember, Oprah endorsed the obviously embellished memoirs of
fabulist James Frey who gave false hope to many with his heroic — and fictional — approach to conquering drug addiction. Then there’s her high-profile
support of The Secret, a
pernicious self-help phenomenon that tells people they can physically realize their dreams by merely wishing for them. The creators of
The Secret claim quantum physics proves all this and, well, if your dreams don’t come true you’re not doing it right. Physicist Niels Bohr, one of the pioneers of quantum physics, famously said, “Anyone who is not shocked by quantum theory has not understood it.” Well, I’m shocked that anyone would believe something as cockamamie as
The Secret,
so it must be true!
Naturally, like most everything else Oprah touches,
The Secret is nothing more than one big marketing scheme. Except unlike her other marketing schemes, instead of squeezing cash out of a desire to lose weight or improve one’s marriage — this one actually sucks her audience’s bank accounts dry by exploiting the actual process of hoping and dreaming, leaving a consumerist sack of meat where a person with a soul once was.
Perhaps you doubt my doubt about the power of
The Secret. So I propose an experiment. Obama supporters should follow Oprah’s advice and spend the rest of the election cycle doing nothing else but wishing Obama into the Oval Office. Don’t write any checks, don’t volunteer, and for heaven’s sake
don’t vote.
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